Blame (Originalshipping)

I had just closed up my gym for the day and was jogging back home, trying not to get too wet from the light rainfall that had begun. By the time I got home, the drizzle of rain had raged into a full blown storm. I let out a soft sigh as I went to go grab towels for myself and Eevee, who was huffily shaking out her damp fur. I dried my hair quickly so I wouldn't catch a cold and used the other towel ruffle Eevee's fur until it was dry and fluffy again. Satisfied that my pokemon was dry enough, I went to change my clothes. I pulled on a pair of gray jogging pants and just as I was slipping a black t-shirt over my head, I heard a slightly hesitant knock at my front door. Eevee ran in and looked up at me, excited as if she already knew who it is. She started tugging at my pants leg to hurry me along to the door.

When I opened it, I half wished that I hadn't. The Pokemon Champion who had been living on Mt. Silver like a crazy hermit for almost four years stood on my doorstep. He looked like a drenched Raticate. I cringed slightly, since that thought brought up memories of my old Raticate. He stared at me with those blood red eyes that often haunted my nightmares and plaugued my dreams. Pikachu looked a bit more ragged than I remembered, but still as energetic as ever as he jumped out of Red's arms and tackled Eevee with an overjoyed 'Pika!'. Eevee looked happy as well. Even though Red and I were rivals, the two Pokemon had always been good friends. Red still stared at me, as silent as ever and I finally had to be the one to break the silence.

"So, finally came down from that damn mountain, huh?" I asked disinterestedly, trying to seem unaffected by his sudden appearance.

He just nodded, his body trembling from the cold. His skin was almost as pale as the snow on the top of Mt. Silver and his lips were blue. I knew that I was going to regret the words that were about to come out of my mouth. I knew it, but I still said them anyway.

I held the door open, beckoning warily with my hand. "Come in before you turn into a block of ice."

Red walked in and as I shut the door, I noticed that a familiar black scarf was wrapped about his neck. It was torn and ragged from years of wear, but yet it still looked cared for. I was honestly surprised that he kept it. Shaking my head, I ushered him to my room and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt that was too little for me before shoving them into his hands and pushing him into the bathroom.

"Take a hot shower before you get sick. I'll be in the living room when you're done." I called as I headed back to round up Pikachu and Eevee.

I started a fire in the fireplace and the two Pokemon instantly ran over and curled up in front of it, both of them thankful for the heat. I planted myself on the rug in front of the fire place with them, glancing out the window as lightning struck. How ironic that he would choose today of all days to come back down. It was just like this the day he left.

       *Flash Back*
"You're a dumb ass." I growled, walking out from behind a tree on route 28 and confronting the boy who had taken my short lived championship away from me. "You're just going to run away now and hide on top of a dangerous mountain?"

The champion didn't saw anything. He never did. He just stared at me with those damn blood colored eyes. Rain and sleet pounded down relentlessly on us and I was shivering, but he seemed unaffected. Nothing ever, ever, ever effected that  strange boy. I couldn't even remember the last time he had smiled. He started to walk past me and I grabbed his shoulder.

"Your mom is going to be worried sick about you. Don't you even care?" I demanded an answer, tightening my grip when he predictably stayed silent.

I glared daggers at him and finally, he gave the tiniest of nods. He knew that she would worry. She always worried about him, since he had always been such a small, frail child. Even when he got better and was getting stronger, she still hovered over him. It almost killed her when he left to be a pokemon trainer and now he was doing this to her as well?
          
        My free hand gripped his other shoulder and I shook him. "You're all that she has,you idiot! You can't just disappear! Not now! You can't leave everyone and everything after you become the champion! What, now that you've gotten what you wanted, you're done? You're so selfish!"

For the first time in years, I saw emotion flicker in those eyes that had always looked so lost. Regret with a hint of sadness filled his eyes. When he looked at me, guilt flickered into the mixture and frowned, confused. What was he guilty for? Did he know that I blamed him for.    .    . I abruptly cut off that thought as I saw more strange emotions swimming deeper in his eyes. Fear and a sense of dreadful knowledge tried to stayed well hidden behind all the other emotions. What were they for? What horrors had he witnessed in this corrupt world?

As quickly as all of those emotions had appeared, they were gone, replaced by a determined glare that was fixed straight on me. I knew then that Red wasn't risking his life on top of the mountain for nothing. He felt as if he needed to be there. He was convinced that he had to be there, and I knew that nothing I said would change that. I would never understand his reasoning or that grim, dreading look in his eyes, but I knew that there was a reason for them. He had experienced something that had changed him completely into the silent, nearly unreadable person that he was now.

           "This is suicide, you know." I tried once more, but my meager attempt at convincing him to stay was weak, "You're gonna get yourself killed."

That determined glare told me that he knew the risk he was taking, but just didn't care. I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "Oh, for Entei's sake." I groaned, surprising both myself and Red by pulling my rival into a tight hug.

I felt his hands hesitantly wrap around me and rub my back awkwardly. Sure, Red was a damn good trainer and good at anything that had to do with pokemon, but when it came to human contact, he was extremely awkward. I kind of despised myself at this moment. I shouldn't be hugging my rival, but for some reason I had the strongest urge to.

Pulling back, I scowled at him. Lightning popped and lit up the dark sky. In that moment, I saw that this forgetful, dopey idiot was wearing short sleeves. I groaned again. How did he ever beat me and become the champion? Cursing under my breath, I yanked off the thick, wool scarf I was wearing and wrapped it tightly around Red's thin, pale neck.

"Damn it, Red. Just.     .    . Be careful. Try not to get your stupid ass killed." I muttered before storming off into the storm.

So much for convincing him not to go. Not that I really cared, anyway. I was just worried about his mother. That was all. I had no feelings for him what so ever. I shook my head, pressing my palms to my bright red cheeks. So why was I blushing?

For a moment, I thought that I might have heard Red call out something. I thought I might of heard him say my name, but any sound was drown out by the loud, rumbling roar of thunder. It must have just been my imagination.

    *End Flashback*

I sighed, propping my hand on my chin and watching the embers flicker across the burning logs in the fireplace. My eyelids grew heavy and start to droop. I struggled to keep them open by focusing on the mesmerizing dance of the flames. I was tired from a long day of battling weak trainers who made the mistake of challenging me, but I needed to stay awake since Red was still in the shower. Finally, I was unable to resist any longer, my shoulders slumping and my head sliding down as sleep claimed me.

      *Flashback*
I was on the S.S Anne and had just lost yet another pokemon battle against Red. To me, Red was unbeatable. It seemed like a lost cause for me to keep battling him and dealing with the hurtful sting of losing, but I kept trying anyhow. I was tempted to throw myself overboard this time, though, because I feared that because of my stubbornness, I was going to lose my of my beloved pokemon. I ran through the crowded halls of the cruise ship, my feet pounding against the floor as I cradled my gravely injured Raticate in my arms. I begged and pleaded and shouted for people to get out of my way, but my cries were lost in the confused commotion that surrounded me. I was knocked to the ground by clueless people more times than I could count and by the time I got off the boat and raced to the pokemon center in the town, I knew that it was too late.

When I got there, I could barely see Nurse Joy's shocked face through my tear clouded vision. She quickly took the mortally wounded Raticate from me and we rushed back into the emergency operating room. Raticate was just barely conscious and every few minutes he would let out a pained, agonized cry that repeatedly shattered my heart into tiny little pieces.

"Shhhh. It's going to be okay, buddy. You're going to be just fine." I gently stroked his blood drenched fur, trying to console him.

He looked up at me, pain clouding his little eyes. He looked sad, like he had let me down. That broke my heart even more. I was tough on my Pokemon, but I still loved them. They could never let me down.

"You did great during that battle. You were really strong," I smiled sadly and assured him of this through my tears. "I'm proud of you."

Relief broke through the suffering in his eyes and he let out a weak but happy cry before the beeping, buzzing monitor that was hooked up to him flat lined. My smile disappeared and I started sobbing, clinging to my now dead friend and begging him to go back. Sensing my distress, Eevee let herself out of her Pokeball and cried out piteously at the sight in front of her. She hopped up on my shoulder and wrapped herself around my neck, trying to comfort me even though she was wailing with grief as well. When I finally managed to calm down, Nurse Joy gave me a hug and wiped my face with a tissue.

"Lavender Town has a special place for people to put their dear pokemon to rest, if you want to take him there." she said softly, covering the lifeless form of my dear Raticate with a sheet.

I nodded numbly, feeling absolutely horrible. I never told Raticate that he meant so much to me. I treated him badly and told him that he was worthless, yet he still stayed loyal and loved me to the end. A steely resolve formed in my heart and I was determined to live by it from this day on. I would love and care for my pokemon and make sure they knew it.

The thought of that made me feel a bit better, but guilt still gnawed at my stomach. Suddenly, my vision darkened and I could see nothing but Red's haunted eyes, the same color of Raticate's blood which covered him, me, and everything. This was his fault, too. He always took things too far. He killed Raticate.    .    .

      *End Flashback*
     
I woke up with a gasp, feeling sick to my stomach. I felt a strange weight on my legs and looked down to see that Red was curled up in my lap. He still shook slightly and his skin was as cold as ice, even though he was right in front of the fire. This is the boy who has taken nearly everything I ever had away from me. He took my Raticate and my title as the champion.    .    . hell, he even took the love and affection of my own grandfather away from me. He was the cause of everything that had gone wrong in my life. Still, I couldn't make myself hate him. I couldn't really make myself blame him for any of it. Sighing despairingly at my complete hopelessness, I gently reached down and ran my fingers through the silky black locks of his hair.

"I'm sorry." a deep voice that was scratchy from disuse whispered.

It took me a moment to realize that the voice had come from Red. I stared at him, my mouth open in an 'o' shape and my eyes wide. He talked? Just like that? What the hell? He sat up in my lap, straddling my hips.

He chuckled. "Yes, I just talked. I've always been able to talk. I've just never had anything to say." his scratchy voice was smoothing out into a silky tone.

I wasn't even surprised that his voice was seductive. If I was honest with myself, everything about Red was seductive. From his long legs and slender hips to his perfect hair and plump lips. Even those red eyes that would look terrifying on anyone else looked sexy on him.

"Why are you sorry?" I sighed, wondering what the hell just ran through my mind. I didn't think that Red was sexy!

Red glanced at my red cheeks and I swear I saw him smile for a fraction of a second. It was replaced with a solemn look as he spoke again, "I took everything away from you. I took away the champion title that you worked so hard for and.     .    . It's my fault that your Raticate died. I went too far during that battle." he whispered, hanging his head.

His words mirrored my thoughts, but the only difference in them was that he actually did blame himself while I couldn't make myself blame him for any of it.

I gently gripped his chin and made him look up at me. "It's.    .    . Both of our faults," I sighed at last. Then, I thought of something, "No. I don't blame you at all. Its not either of our faults. This life sets you up just to knock you down. Its survival of the fittest and everyone wants to be the best. The blame is on neither of us. That's.     .     . Just how things work out. Its not our fault that this world is so screwed up." a bit relief actually settled over the pain in my heart as I realized this.

A small smile flickered on to Red's face, but it was nowhere near the confident, cocky smile he wore years ago. I frowned slightly. "What happened to you, Red?"

"Mewtwo. Missingno." he whispered blankly.

Confused, I asked him what that meant. He kept shaking his head, insisting that he couldn't tell me. Insisting that even if he could force the words out of his mouth, he wouldn't tell me because it would change me. From the wild look in his eyes, I knew that he was telling the truth, so I dropped it.

I sighed, resting my forehead against my former rival's. "This world has messed both of us up pretty bad, but.    .    . we're both strong. Together, I bet we could beat anything it threw at us." I said hesitantly.

Red grinned. "Yeah." he leaned up, pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss.
He smelled like mountains and was cold as ice, but I liked it. It suited him. I kissed him back briefly before pulling away and looking into his namesake eyes. They didn't remind me of blood anymore. I actually saw the Red that hid behind them.

~*~

A few years later, and Red  and I were still together. He smiled more now, though he didn't talk much. His actions spoke much, much louder. He was greedy for my attention and showed it by walking around bare ass naked or in just boxers most of the time. He was jealous when I talked to anyone else for too much time and showed it by passionately making out with me right in front fo them. He was way to confident. He was weird, and often sat outside in nothing but shorts in the pouring down rain and snow. He freaked out and normally scared off most challengers who came to my gym. But.    .     . even with all those strange little quirks, he's able to add another thing that he's taken from me to his list: My heart.